Yesterday, my Internet went out. For a blogger that can be detrimental, especially if we forget how to actually write with a pencil on paper. I had been given homework after having an animal communicator visit this week to help diagnose my draft horse’s behavioral problems and I was eager to write about it. The communicator is helping us learn to interact with our horses in a more natural manner; letting them be horses, for example, rather than high-stepping prisoners that should never misbehave.
I thought that he would have me perform certain exercises on the ground with my horse, but his assignment went in a completely different direction. My homework was to clear out my own fears.
Now horses are big, and they can sometimes hurt us without intentionally trying. So fear would be a healthy and natural emotion in the presence of these large animals. But it also gets in the way of communicating with the horse, and this is what was happening to me. After three stitches in the head last week from close contact with some large hooves, my fear was keeping me from letting my horses be what they are: fight or flight animals that just may have a difficult time trusting a prey animal such as me, who (in their eyes) might eat them at anytime.
So the fear is reciprocal, and it takes effort on both sides to eliminate it. I had a hard time believing that an 1800 pound Percheron would fear me, but if I had taken the time to view life from his perspective, it makes perfect sense.
In order to clear my fears, I was told to visualize the knot in my stomach, and melt it away.
I didn’t even know it was there, but when the communicator mentioned it, and I focused on that area just between and below my breasts, there it was…a tight knot that sat like a giant pit, blocking me from acting with love. Deep breaths ensued, and by the end of yesterday, I could melt it inside before interacting with my horse. He could tell right away; his demeanor changed from fearful and easily spooked to calm and tender. His eye softened. He obliged my gentle requests to exercise without the argument that had often preceded previous attempts.
I sat in a lawn chair in the middle of the round pen and he paced around me in circles for over an hour. Since past experience had related that pen with intense exercise that left him exhausted, it took a very long time for him to realize that I was going to ask nothing of him today.
Simply by melting my own fears, I had helped alleviate the fear of another.
Next time you wonder, “How can one person make a difference in this world?” check for that pit in your stomach and determine if your fear is projecting to others. Do you see it in their eyes? If so, take deep breaths, and envision the pit melting away, and replace it with love with no expectations.
Now that’s peace.
I have been on my spiritual journey since I was 18, with years here and there where I was on the opposite side of the spectrum. Lately, in my forties, I have focused the majority of my daily inner reflection on my self-evolution, which includes manifestation of my desires. I attempt to police my thoughts very carefully lately, for as I discovered recently, the time between when I project my desire to when I see it manifest in my reality is decreasing very quickly (see below for a comment about my use of the word “time” here).
I have several people a day ask me about how to develop their manifestation skills, and I tell them the same thing:
Be careful what you wish for.
A cliche, right? There is no genie in a bottle, but only you sending energy at a certain vibration out to the Universe, and the Universe matching it. That’s it, folks, that’s all there is. You send it, it comes to you. It works every time, each time, and it always matches your strongest thoughts when mixed with feelings.
Why did I include feelings in that last statement? Because, thankfully, the Universe does allow us–while in our physical bodies–to perceive a time delay between what we ask for and when it’s delivered. This gives us chances to–ahem–update our thoughts to reflect on what we are requesting to ensure it really serves us. Now we can KNOW that we’re doing this, or we can do it unconsciously. It’s entirely up to us whether or not we choose to be self aware of our requests. The Universe doesn’t care either way.
I experienced an uncomfortable example of this a few weeks ago, when I was negotiating the purchase of a beautiful palomino horse in Kentucky. This being the first horse I was purchasing sight unseen, I was a bit leery about not seeing her first, and completely uncomfortable with paying $1000 to ship her here. ”Highway robbery!” my ego said to me in a weak moment. I began to second guess the purchase, and wonder if I shouldn’t just be satisfied with the three horses I already have. It wasn’t but 24 hours before the whole deal fell through, and I was out of my obligation to purchase the horse when the seller sold her locally despite having made a deal with us. I had manifested the failure to follow through in a matter of hours. (*I use the word “time” here in the context of human experience, for in reality everything is happening at once. )
I really wanted that horse, and upon retrospection, I see that my doubts about my transaction were sent out to the Universe, which responded in turn by giving me exactly what I asked for.
So if you are in the habit of deliberate creation, pay attention to the speed at which you manifest, and if that time frame between desire projection and manifestated reality is decreasing, then you are speeding ahead on the path to enlightenment. And if this is the case, remember to be conscious about your thoughts and feelings, for you are well aware that sustained, focused thought is what is creating reality–and you get what you ask for.
My mother raised orchids throughout my childhood, and I remember as a teenager how I used to comment how ugly they were. With twisted roots that protruded from the pot, and leaves that flopped in various directions, I wondered why my mother had such an obsession with them.
But when they bloomed…I was breathless. Not only were the flowers magnificent, but they lasted for months. And I remember what she told me: ”Don’t be so quick to judge, for you never really know much about a thing until you live with it for a while.”
And so, as I grew up, I experienced many quick-to-judge situations, and applied prejudice where it was never needed, and I suffered the consequences of missing out on some pretty cool experiences because I was too closed-minded on this subject or that. I softened a bit as I aged, and my mother’s statements about letting people be “who they were” solidified into a belief that I could live a more guilt-free life if I only stood back, observed, and accepted. My judgments of people did not change who I was judging; rather it just defined myself as someone who judged.
One of the keys to living a guilt-free life is to stand back, soften up, and just watch what blooms. It’s about knowing who YOU are, and allowing others to live their desired experiences being who THEY are, without your deciding what is best for them; whether that be their appearance, their behavior, or their choices.
I now have a whole greenhouse of orchids; much of the year they are still those floppy leaves and meandering roots. But every few months, one will bloom in all its splendor, and I thank it–and my mother–for this important lesson.
-a half finished mosaic project
-a creepy unpainted, bald paper clay doll with glass eyes
-the pieces of an unstructured dress that has yet to be sewn together
-half of a crocheted scarf
-polymer clay tiles that I created and stacked into a now-toppled pile
Note that that’s only one corner of the room. If your eyes veer to other areas, you’ll see many more unfinished projects like these.
As I mentioned in Twitter this week, I have learned that I am a Scanner. This term was coined by Barbara Sher in her book Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams to describe people whose minds thirst for knowledge. We strive to learn quickly about diverse, unconnected things, and we are riddled with new ideas, desires and goals to the point that we feel there’s not enough time in life to learn about them all. We are often ridiculed by others for our inability to choose one career, hobby or activity. Our parents asked us, “When are you going to settle down and decide what you want to do?”
I, for one, thought that there was something wrong with me, when I couldn’t decide on one career in high school, and I actually remembered the guidance counselor throwing his hands up in disgust when I told him all of my ideas about who I could be. He told me to “pick one” and write about it. When I agreed, and stated that I wanted to be a jockey, he shook his head and ordered me out, because there was no college curriculum that could prepare me for such an outlandish career.
Well, I grew several inches that year, so my life as a jockey was dashed before it had even begun. This didn’t bother me, because I had moved onto dozens of other interests and projects anyway. My brother, who only did one thing his whole life, called me a “pinball machine,” and when I announced my new company, LooseBeads.com, which sells beads in bulk to my sister, who to her credit has had TWO careers in her lifetime, said, “Oh no. You’re not starting yet ANOTHER company, are you?”
I understand that scanners must frustrate other people, but honestly, I could not live any other way. And others’ ideas of starting and finishing things differ from mine. To someone like my brother, if you don’t finish something that you start, you are a failure. To me, I am finished with something when I say I am; which could be when that burst that culminates into a generation of ideas, or creation of business strategy, or even the testing phase, has been completed.
If you know someone like this, or if it’s YOU that has many unfinished projects and yet-to-be-explored wonders in your mind, cherish this ability, for your brain fires in a different way than that of other people. Learn what you desire to learn, and experience it for as long as you choose.
Write it down as done, and move on to the next project. Guilt free.
I remember what Erma Bombeck wrote right before she died of a failed kidney transplant. Read the entire quote here.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it… live it… and never give it back.
Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.
Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who DO love us.
Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with.
And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually.
Life is too short to let it pass you by.
And when I do a retroactive thought check of my recent thoughts I can see myself thinking about unimportant things much of the time. Perhaps I may have death on the brain this year, having lost both a child and a brother within 90 days of each other, and I am waxing more philosophic than usual. I beat myself up a lot inside, for not being perfect at all times. For making mistakes. For chastising myself every time my pants feel tight. For getting old.
All of these thoughts take up valuable mental real estate in our minds, and they fuel the experiences we have in the present. Like Erma, I would have never had a picnic on the “good” carpet, for fear that something would spill on it. And perish the thought that I would serve fried chicken once in a while—a picnic staple, mind you—for fear of gaining weight.
These wasted thoughts amount to wasted time as well as unrealized experiences out of fear. Do we want to wait until it’s too late, and our time is measured in days and hours to learn from those who have forewarned us of this trap? Or should we redirect our thoughts when they arrive to evaluate their usefulness in the present?
So go ahead, have a picnic on the carpet, stains and all.
I once had a customer named Joe who lived in Hawaii. He was a happy-go-lucky cool kind of guy, who worked in bare feet and stopped our telephone conversations to pick up and examine a lizard that crossed his path. It was always a joy to talk to him, and he brightened my days.
Well Joe got cancer, and headed in a downward spiral that was faster than many. He sold his belongings, moved back to the mainland so that his family could take care of him; yet he continued to be positive in his outlook.
I got busy with other things, and Joe wasn’t conducting business with me anymore, so he was not in the forefront of my mind.
One day in autumn last year, Joe called my work number, and I was busy with another customer. He left a message to call him back, and I put it off until the next day, since I had so many pressing things to complete at work.
When I called back late the next day, the phone was answered by his brother, who said that Joe had voluntarily decided to request administration of large amounts of sedative which would keep him in a coma until he passed away. He had called me the day before to say goodbye, and I had been too busy to take his call.
He passed a week later.
Today, I learned that my brother, who is suffering from terminal brain cancer, doesn’t have much time. His wife sent out the message that if we were intending on visiting, then we should do so sooner rather than later, as we were not sure how long he would retain cognitive function. Although I never got to say goodbye to Joe, my final experience with him was a lesson I learned the hard way. Time is of the essence, and no matter what it costs, or which activities I need to rearrange to get it done, I will be there to say goodbye to my brother while he is still cognizant of our relationship. These lessons are hard, but I believe that they weave the web of spiritual growth due to the challenges they provide.
Love to all.
Everyone has holes. Holes are my description of areas in your life in which you could use a little filling in. Whether it be that you’re quick to judge, or that you snap at people when you’re hungry, or that you think people who live in trailers are white trash, everyone has particular holes that need some attention and possibly repair. It’s not that you have to completely heal them, as perhaps there is something from your upbringing that created these holes in the first place, and awareness of their existence is enough. Noticing that they are there, and addressing their presence is healing in itself.
Even if you don’t see your own holes, they are apparent to other people. They show themselves when you interact with them and one of the subjects of your holes is broached. You react. It shows. It either helps you grow, or it holds you back. You can ask friends to help you with your holes, by gently reminding you when you have revealed an area that may need some further learning. Do you need to live with the same judgment that you yourself have dealt? Can you sympathize with someone whose housing situation is currently not as bountiful as yours? Can you project yourself into another’s eyes and see from their perspective?
If so, then your holes will fill in naturally, with experience and understanding that you were just missing some of the information. And you will be all that closer to whole.
I just visited Deepak Chopra’s site and took an Enlightened Wellbeing Self Assessment. Talk about feeling like a mixed bag of growth. The assessment asks simple questions (“Are you happy with your body?”) and questions about enlightenment (“Do you see your world as divine?”) and some referring to terms I’ve never heard of.
The assessment took about 3 minutes, and returned a result smack in the middle of the spectrum…in other words, MEDIOCRE!
This is not what I wanted to see, but when I really reflect on it, I guess it is actually pretty accurate. After all, I am a pretty worldly person (I like my electronic gadgets and sparkly stones), but I do have a sense of the divine and understand the basics of why we’re here.
This assessment, of course, allows me the room to grow, and to focus my efforts on improving the areas in which I scored pretty low (like tapping into the Akashic field, whatever that is). I got a new Kindle, so what better opportunity to take my learning to the Akashic field by way of modern technology…the best of both worlds!
If you would like to take the Enlightened Wellbeing Self Assessment, you can take it here
I am certainly one to want to get ahead. I have a plethora of ideas for making money, creating financial independence, and helping the world, one product at a time. Yet I also have a job that pays the bills.
Gurus like Larry Winget and Gary Vaynerchuk inspire us to break free of the corporate mold, and start making changes in order to live the lives that we want. After reading nearly a hundred of these self-help books, I am left with the nagging feeling that these people believe that there are no employers that can provide you with a satisfying job. In their eyes, you must work for yourself in order to find happiness in what you do.
Although I believe entrepreneurship provides benefits that many traditional jobs do not, such as freedom to make all of the decisions and self-appointed vacations, it can also increase stress levels, tear apart families and create health problems that affect our level of happiness. I am an entrepreneur myself, and along with the day job, I see both sides of this issue.
Please excuse my oversimplification of the benefits of entrepreneurship vs employee life. The arguments for both sides are valid yet lengthy, and I am sure that there are plenty of sources that will assist you in choosing what’s best for you. My subject here is accepting, no matter which path you choose, where you are right now.
Many of us, including myself in the recent past, spend a lot of time bitching about where we are. We hate getting up early and leaving our family at 6am. We miss our childrens’ functions due to late meetings, we are too tired to cook dinner after a long day’s work. After my pity party was over, I decided to make the best of where I was at any particular time and view my world from the perspective of my being exactly where I was supposed to be.
This means doing what you can do, when. And not feeling guilty about what you didn’t do, unless what you chose to do instead of what you should have done was stupid.
What’s stupid? Five straight hours of South Park. Drinking an entire bottle of wine by yourself, leaving a stream of clothes on the floor and dragging yourself to bed. Hanging out on Facebook and refreshing until you see a comment made on one of your posts. Those things are stupid, and those places are not where you should be.
This is time wasted, and as we get older, time is exactly the thing we value the most. So why waste this time? Even needing to unwind can be productive, if you just want to doodle on a pad and let your mind wander. That, to me, while perhaps not overtly productive, gives your mind time to stew, to make sense of your crazy life, and, hopefully, turn it into something that will satisfy your temporary need to be–elsewhere.
Sometimes those doodles on the pad are just stick people, and sometimes they turn into ideas that can be useful whether you work inside the home or out–for yourself or for someone else. And you can see that where you are is exactly where you are supposed to be.
As I drive down Elliot Road every day, I focus on the scenery that lines the street. Bus stop attendees, people waiting to cross the intersection, and the constantly changing array of retail establishments–all of them are part of my daily view of the world around me during my drive.
There’s one man, that at 4:50 PM every day, is walking down the sidewalk on the south side of the street. Sometimes he walks east, and sometimes west. And the one thing that strikes me about him is that he is always filthy.
Homeless? Not sure. Maybe he is a blue collar worker whose job includes drywall, paint or cement. He wears an array of clothes, all filthy. His shoulder-length hair is as close to a mullet as it can be without actually being one, and he has a Sonny Bono moustache that seems out of place in this day and age. He is tall and thin and his shirt is always tucked in, and he walks with a swagger that says, “I know who I am.”
Well I am glad that he does, because he seems an enigma to me. One doesn’t see too many people with those attributes–neat, trim, confident and filthy–and it makes me want to stop and ask him what his life is all about. But, of course, I don’t, because it’s not my place to do so.
And every time I see him, it impresses me that he is OK with being dirty. He is OK with showing his true self in public without concern about what others think of his looks. He knows who he is and he’s OK with it.
Thanks for the example, mystery man.