The Gossip Boomerang

Admit it…we all do it.  There’s the really annoying girl with bad habits two cubicles down that you just can’t wait to hear about.  After all, if she misbehaves on Friday night and your friends were there to see the debacle, of course they’ll talk about it.  And because it’s juicy information, you have to listen.  You may or may not pass the information on, but if it’s that torrid, wouldn’t you just be the informed one at the next gossip gathering?

Yet in this world of expanding awareness, I would implore you to think a step further than your immediate gratification.  If your friends are willing to talk to you about someone’s actions while the subject of the gossip isn’t there to defend herself, why wouldn’t they talk about yours while you weren’t there either?

Clean as the driven snow, are you?  Show me someone that truly is.

Now perhaps one in a thousand doesn’t really give a crap whether others talk about him or not.  But odds are, you’re one of those who does care.  For the rest of us, gossip is nothing more than disrespect for another person–and we partake in it for one of three reasons:

• It makes you feel better about yourself
• It takes attention away from yourself
• It brings attention to yourself

Let me explain each of these briefly:

It makes you feel better about yourself

Yes, you know what’s happening with ev–erybody and all your snitches trust you with this clandestine information…and in order to show others that you are in with the IN people, you demonstrate this knowledge to anyone who will stand around long enough.

It takes attention away from yourself

If you can dish out the dirt on someone else, maybe those who question your character or its actions may overlook your faults.

It brings attention to yourself

Love to be the center of the crowd, do you?  Did you bring your own soapbox to the party or did you use the host’s?  Chances are you love to be heard, and dealing out trash about others brings ears closer that may not have ever given you a chance otherwise.
Many years ago,  I visited a sports bar after work for a drink with a few co-workers.  I danced one line dance with a beer in my hand, played a video game and left 20 minutes later.  When I returned to work the next day to winks, nudges and cries to “show me more!” I finally had to ask someone why everyone was acting that way.

“Don’t you remember?  Maybe you were too drunk to recall dancing on the bar in your bra.”

Wow.  That wasn’t me, for sure.  But someone decided to play Whisper Down the Lane, and look what happened to my quiet night with one beer.

So next time you hear the gossip flying, stand up for the absent person and defend her.  Or if you can’t do that, walk away.  She probably only had one beer and went home anyway.