Alibis: To lie or not for a friend

My partner has a friend Roderick* that–and he blames it on his culture–has more than one love interest.  More than two love interests.  In fact, he has a half-dozen love interests, of all types and scattered throughout the United States.  He has so many that we have to define them by their geographical location just to keep them straight.

Now far be it from me to judge anyone’s lifestyle, since I believe we are here to create whichever experience we choose.  Yet there have been times when my (only!) partner has been the excuse for why Roderick is not where he was supposed to be at a certain time, or why he disappears for a weekend here and there.

Our debate began when I gave him the old adage “What if that happened to you?”  What if it were my friends lying to him about my whereabouts when I was with another lover?  His answer?

“Well it would be different if I knew these women.”

So basically, because he doesn’t have awareness of their feelings on the matter, he feels a certain disconnection from their lives, and thus justifies his willingness to support his friend in his time of need.  Of course, this sent me up in arms at my partner’s lack of sensitivity, and then I sat back and thought about it.  If Roderick chooses to divide his love life among six women, and the women trust him implicitly (adding a chuckle here at that), then aren’t they all choosing their situation anyway?

Now I’m not a proponent of lying, but rather that if you were put in this situation, that you would consider the choices made by all parties, including your own.  You could value your friend’s relationship more than those he is deceiving, or you could value your own character more and choose not to cover the actions of another–and ask him to find an alternate alibi.  It’s your choice.

*Of course I had to change his name…