To me, an animal lover, I had some idea that animals were a very important part of human growth.  After all, how a human treats an animal shows us much about his character.  But I didn’t think of them as having equal intelligence as humans, simply because I thought that they lacked self awareness.  I believed that they thought, and felt, and had good days and bad days, but I didn’t believe that they reflected on these occurrences.  I didn’t think that past experiences could determine future behavior in an animal. But now I know otherwise.

I am reading a fascinating book called “Learning Their Language: Intuitive Communication with Animals and Nature,” by Marta Williams.  In the book, the author gives examples of her one on one communications with animals, which includes locating lost animals, assisting veterinarians in finding out what’s wrong, and solving past problems with previous human relationships gone bad.  The book showed me that anyone can talk to animals, and animals can talk back through mental images, in conversations much like humans can.

It does take some practice, and the author wants us to practice with animals we don’t own, since we are not so familiar with them.  I started with my horse, however, who I don’t see nearly enough, and I can say that we’re coming along just fine.  I can sense some reservation in his willingness to share with me, as perhaps he thinks that nothing will change anyway if he “speaks” his mind.  On my part, I am taking it slowly, not asking much, but merely sending love to him and the reminder that he will be with me for life.  He seems to be accepting of that, and I can notice a visible calming of his nerves and a general sense of well being after we “talk.”

As for the dogs, well anyone that knows my unruly dogs will know that there is a lot more work to be done with those to open the channel of communications…

All in all, I have learned a great lesson here in that both animals and humans, although in different external form, feel the same emotions, fear the same fears, and experience highs and lows inside.  The bonds that humans and animals share, and the respect humankind could show animals, would be so much stronger if we considered us all equal.

My goals are to live my life outside of the standard order of things.  As I said in my post, Guilt Free Non-Conformity, I really haven’t followed society’s timeline of events for a normal life.  My life really started later than most, at the birth of my first son when I was 32.  That’s when my beauty started to bloom, and I realized that I was a unique human being that didn’t think like others did.  That’s when I started recognizing the people that chose to be sheep rather than leaders, and that’s when I chose to be a leader by example.

So now, at 46, I find myself living totally outside of the box yet again.  My second child is due, completely unexpected and most certainly welcome nonetheless, in May 2012.  My plans for retirement are coming along fine, but it’s not the type of retirement that most people are planning, when they are too old to enjoy themselves.  Of course, on a humorous note, much of my retirement will be spent at Little League games, cheering on my son/daughter as he or she runs the bases.  Graduation for this little angel will be in 2030 (OMG!!!) and hopefully there will be great strides in the field of plastic surgery by that time so that I don’t look so much like Grandma while I sit in the audience of proud parents.  And of course, with a younger husband, I will still be called a cougar until the day I die, even when he’s 80 and I’m 89.  (If you would like to read about my pregnancy, you can visit my sister blog at Surprise at 45)

There are days that I feel the guilt of being non-conformist–mixed in with morning sickness it’s not an easy cocktail.  I know that there are friends who judge me for it, and have backed off because they just can’t relate.  To them, I say that I can think of no other way for me to live.  As I believe in multiple lives, I can say that this one, because of my choices to take the path less taken in many instances, is the best life yet.

Well, that’s my life, and as of recently, it seems like whatever pattern I was supposed to follow just fell down the rabbit hole along with myself and those I love. I, for one, incurred the doubt of many of my older friends who cautioned me to slow down, to take it easy, to see where things go and be on my guard.  But, for once, my head, my heart and my gut all agree, telling my common sense to take a back seat and just watch for a while. I find myself being myself, with no odd moments of trying to be someone different, or trying to mold myself to be something someone else wants me to be.  I could just be me, and be accepted for who I am–good and not so good–in my own, self-defined skin.  And to those who cautioned me that I was going too fast, I take your heed, and I blatantly ignore your warnings.  Everything seems to be working for us without the need to follow the same timeline that you, and your parents, did.

But does that mean the same thing will happen to me?  What if I stand here for too long, worried if I have enough towels to clean up my flooded home, and I manifested the same occurrence?  Is my mind strong enough, focused enough, to actually break a water pipe in the process of manifestation?

The short answer is yes, it is.  The long answer, thankfully, is that I would have to really associate some strong feelings with my worried thoughts, and for a while, in order to recreate my neighbor’s situation in the physical world.  Thankfully, the Law of Attraction gives us the opportunity to change our thoughts, and our corresponding feelings, before things manifest.  Although there are no time constraints with the Law of Attraction, there is the perceived delay that we, as humans, create in order to make sense of daily life.  This is one of the times we use time to our advantage.

So next  time you find yourself facing the choice to visualize a potential situation, remember this:

Visualize what should happen, rather than what could happen.

Of course I didn’t get to keep reading, because she flipped the page on me, but it started me thinking about history in general.  I’m not talking about the years that Napoleon lived, or whether Shakespeare really wrote his sonnets or if Sir Francis Bacon really did.  No doubt that was what the teachers in the article were fighting for, with a firm resolve that learning about Napoleon’s successes and failures really helps shape our childrens’ malleable minds into well-rounded citizens.

The kind of history I’m referring to is our personal history.  As any parent of a teenager knows, the minute we go into the “When I was a kid” mode, the eyes begin rolling and they don’t stop until you shut up.

Here’s an example:  when I was in school, I was one of those weirdos that came home from school and did my homework immediately.  That way, it was done and I could relax for the rest of the night doing what I really wanted to do, which was art.  My son, on the other hand, waits until 10pm to start his homework, and no amount of force, removal of privileges, or even hobbling (ok, I really didn’t consider it for long) will get him to do his homework the second he enters the house.  He finishes it, albeit with drool all over his name for falling asleep on it the night before.

So I could sit him down, and tell him how it was when I was a kid…or I could let him fail a few times and come to his own conclusion that perhaps starting his homework earlier might benefit him in many ways.

So I ask you, do you think our lectures get through, even if LONG after the fact?  I mean, we all have “momisms” that we repeat (usually at family gatherings for maximum comic camaraderie. Does hearing about one’s past help shape the actions of another, or does doing really seal the learning deal?

This happened recently when one of my dearest friends moved far away.

Our relationship started as a professional one, where I hired her to train my horse, and me, on how to get along nicely with others.  In the meantime, we grew together as friends, sharing a love for horses, life and the common struggles that women endure in these times.  But her life here was a troubled one;  she could never fulfill her true dream in this place and time.  She made the decision to accept an offer 1500 miles away;  one that would bring her closer in alignment to her goal of training and showing high echelon Saddlebreds in the show circuit.

Now me, as a good friend, I should have supported her.  But did I?  No.  I didn’t.  I projected my sadness and disappointment and–OK I’m saying it–envy–that she was one step closer to her dream, and she was leaving me in the dust both professionally and by abandoning (from my perspective) our friendship.  I was so self-absorbed that I couldn’t be happy for my best friend.  She was so fantastic both as a trainer and as a friend that I still can’t find a replacement for either of those holes she left in my life.

So from this experience comes the realization that friendship really does include that cliche “If you love someone, then let them go.” I am trying hard to support her in her quest to be a star trainer.  In fact, she came home with blue ribbons galore at last weekend’s show.

I should have been there to cheer her on.

A lot of things have happened in the last few months.  My home life has changed dramatically, and I have learned more about myself and listening to my gut feeling this year than in the previous 44 before.  Since there are a lot of lessons to be learned from my experiences, I would love to write about the feelings I encountered during the process.  But the Internet, she hides my words from no one.  And I was concerned that people who are already hurt will read my words and hurt even more.

But family and friends, they chided me, with wrinkled brows and stern faces.  “You can’t filter your feelings.  Say what you have to say,” they said.  Not one of my friends thought that the world would benefit from a censored perspective of my experiences, simply for the sake of sparing the feelings of one.

So from here on in, it’s coming as it really happened.  And to those whose feelings may be bruised, I’m sorry in advance.

Even if you don’t see your own holes, they are apparent to other people.  They show themselves when you interact with them and one of the subjects of your holes is broached.  You react.  It shows.  It either helps you grow, or it holds you back.  You can ask friends to help you with your holes, by gently reminding you when you have revealed an area that may need some further learning.  Do you need to live with the same judgment that you yourself have dealt?  Can you sympathize with someone whose housing situation is currently not as bountiful as yours?  Can you project yourself into another’s eyes and see from their perspective?

If so, then your holes will fill in naturally, with experience and understanding that you were just missing some of the information.  And you will be all that closer to whole.

Guilt Free Eating

You can eat without guilt.  If you listen to your body, and feed it the cleanest foods possible, there is no need to deprive yourself of anything.  In fact, the better the quality of the food you eat, the less you’ll crave those foods that do not provide your body with nutrients.  There’s no need for me to define which foods are healthiest–just keep it as close as possible to natural, unprocessed foods and eat until you feel satisfied but not full.  Take your time, and chew with purpose.  You will find yourself eating less naturally.

As a reminder, you can print out this card and post it on your refrigerator as a gentle reminder that you can eat guilt free.

You can download it here.

I like to buy things; shiny, intricate things, primitive art, and eclectic welded oddities painted bright colors. I stock up on books, and audiotapes, and sometimes shoes.

But aphorisms abound about how we should detach ourselves from the material, and realize that real joy comes from the heart, not the diamond heart necklace you just picked up on eBay. I feel that both can be true at the same time, and that in order to live a guilt free life you must come to terms with the fact that it’s OK to love both the material and the ethereal stuff at the same time. For the acquisition of certain stuff can mark a milestone in one’s life that lasts as a pleasant reminder of a great experience. And you can carry that stuff from one location to another as you progress along your life path, and it serves as portable roots, in a way.

And if you lose your stuff, or it’s stolen, or it breaks, you may feel a sort of mourning much as if a person had departed from your life. Is it bad to miss something that has been a faithful companion for many years? I don’t think that mourning a lost item is reason for feeling guilt. With that said, healing must occur eventually, or you may need some help letting go.

If you work, and you pay your bills, and you donate as much as you possibly can to recipients that you care deeply about, you save for emergencies and prepare for income for your later years, then why not buy some stuff? Why not create some memorable roots that accompany you through the best and the worst days of your life?

Here’s to stuff.