Why God and Apocalypse Don’t Mix

Would you Burn your own Child?

People say that the Mayan calendar says the world will end in 2012. The Popol Vuh, an ancient book of Mayan history, describes the first three creations that the gods failed in making and the creation of the successful fourth world where men were placed.  We are living in the fourth world, in the 13th era of existence.

“Maya inscriptions occasionally reference future predicted events or commemorations that would occur on dates that lie beyond 2012 (that is, beyond the completion of the 13th b’ak’tun of the current era). In fact, there are predictions of events that occur in the 80th era, which equates to 21 October in the year 4772.

“Despite the publicity generated by the 2012 date, Susan Milbrath, curator of Latin American Art and Archaeology at the Florida Museum of Natural History, stated that ‘We have no record or knowledge that [the Maya] would think the world would come to an end’ in 2012. ‘For the ancient Maya, it was a huge celebration to make it to the end of a whole cycle,’ says Sandra Noble, executive director of the Foundation for the Advancement of Mesoamerican Studies in Crystal River, Florida. To render December 21, 2012, as a doomsday event or moment of cosmic shifting, she says, is ‘a complete fabrication and a chance for a lot of people to cash in.’”

via Mesoamerican Long Count calendar – Wikipedia.

So why the fear? I’m not sure it is as base as wanting to cash in, but I certainly do believe that most apocalyptic beliefs in the United States are misdirected interpretations of one religious scripture or another.  After all, we are sinners (if you don’t know me, then please note that this is sarcasm), and we all deserve to be punished.  Shame on us for believing that we share the same attributes as God.  For such impure thoughts, they say, God will rain down fire and fury on our world, and burn us up like forgotten toast.  On December 20, 2012, to be exact, as if he’s penciled it in his cosmic appointment book.

Oh please.  People!  We are God’s children, and he would no more incinerate us (or flood us, or freeze us) than you would to your own children.  Children share blood with their parents, and parents are, generally-speaking, good protectors of their children.  Parents want to see their children learn, explore and make mistakes in order to become decent human beings, who have children of their own.

If you are worried about the end of the world, then you must be focusing your attention outward at all the horrific things that other people are doing.  Are you judging?  Are you fearful for those people that are tearing your world down because you feel that their actions will rain fire on your parade?  Well then go out and touch one of them.  Go to a prison and visit.  Work at a food bank.  Help abused animals.  Do something about what’s going wrong in our world.

This is what God wants.

Guilt Free Dieting – A Case Study using HcG

Is There a Guilt Free Way to Lose Weight?

Today I decided to document my curiosity. With all the hype about the HcG diet craze, my undying need for new experiences forces me to find out more. Anyone who knows me is aware of my anal research habits, which could include a dozen hours poring through white papers, documents and Web sites, before I make a decision to buy something. And even with all the research, sometimes the product or service turns out to be a scam anyway. I know a dozen people who have lost significant amounts of weight using HcG, and this with both the injections (ack) and the sub-lingual drops.

And since my aim is to live guilt-free, what better subject to study than one that causes more guilt than any other–dieting. So over the next 23 days I will document my findings here–both guilt-related, physical and mental–so that others can make a well-informed decision as to whether this miracle diet is worthy of their time or not.  And no, that’s not me in the picture here.

My necessary disclaimers and full disclosure: I work in the Internet industry and I am not an affiliate or related to anyone selling this stuff. I bought my liquid HcG drops based on a friend’s recommendation at YourHcg.com.  They were very revenue-oriented and terrible conversationalists, but gave me a 20% discount on a 15-day supply (I later learned that I will have to buy another bottle to finish the program, so don’t make that mistake!);  the bottle arrived 3 days later as promised.

I am not a doctor, and I did not consult one professionally regarding this stuff.  I did speak to a doctor who has prescribed the injections but knew nothing of the drops since he is not a naturopath and doesn’t claim to know anything about that area of the medical field.

I understand that weight is lost based on calories in vs calories out, and that the source of those calories has an effect on hormonal balance and thus weight loss. I exercise five times a week;  I use a combination of strength training, Pilates, and cardio.  I also ride my horse about three times a week.

My eating habits are already better than 95% of Americans.  I eat fish and chicken, and limit pork and red meat to once a month.  I limit my sugar but don’t avoid it completely.  I eat low-fat or fat-free cheese, eggs and their whites, and eat only whole grain breads.  I limit my pasta intake because I eat too much of it when it’s in front of me.  If I could live on cheese and sour cream for the rest of my life, I would. (I know that there are many of you out there.)  I eat five times a day, which feels more like grazing.

Prior to this experiment, I weighed 143.4 lbs.  According to my trainer, I should weigh 125 lbs, which would put me at a BMI of 20, which is nearly at the bottom of the healthy range for my height of 5’7″.  According to my doctor, I should weigh 140 lbs, which would put me at a BMI of 22.  My BMI is currently 23, which is still within the range of healthy.  Based on these recommendations, I am aiming for a weight of 133 lbs with a  BMI of 21, which is smack in the middle of the healthy zone. This amounts to just over 10 lbs of weight loss.

Today is my first day of taking drops.  I was instructed to administer 6 drops under the tongue, 6 times a day.  On the first two days, I am instructed to eat as many high-fat foods as possible in order to prepare myself for the severe cutback of calories on the third day.  I can understand this principle, yet since I don’t eat like that normally, I am kinda grossed out.  I have had 2 Dunkin Donuts and a sausage and egg sandwich, which normally would be my entire day’s worth of calories.

I am on my sixth glass of water at 10:30am because of all the salt I just ate.

My stomach feels like I swallowed wet cement and it’s hardening inside right now.

Are You TOO Guilt Free?

Yesterday, my son called me a bitch.

Now, other people have done that in my younger years, but back then I had earned that label.  Nowadays, however, I think I may be on the lenient side of things, and let a lot of inappropriate actions and words by others just roll off my back.

Well, folks, that doesn’t work with kids, apparently.  Because they are watching you, and modeling you, and their behavior is learned from yours in a really big way.

I guess it started when I was working nights, and as I lay comatose in bed after being on my feet all night, my little tyke would crawl out of bed and switch on a DVD.  One morning, he tapped my shoulder as I slept, and said, “MOM!  The Matrix is everywhere.”  I should have taken this as a sign that perhaps I should be more careful about what he had access to, and to be fair to myself, there was no porn or other REALLY inappropriate materials in the house.

And after all, they are going to learn it soon, anyway, right?  Right.  They are going to learn it.  And they are going to look to you for your judgment on that material.  If you glaze right over the violence and the trench coat-wearing virtual mercenaries, then your kids are going to think that these types of movies are the norm, when indeed they should not be–at least for kids.

So being called a bitch was simply a symptom of the bigger problem–that I was too lax in my household, and that my quest to bring up an individual rather than a little carbon copy of myself went too far to the other extreme.  And I created an individual to which nothing was sacred.

According to Elaine Sihera on the Helium.com blog:

Children in homes where the parents do not treat each other with any respect, and where language is abusive, critical or inappropriate, tend to use those examples as their guidelines and behave accordingly. Parents teach their children not only through what they say, but most importantly, through what they DO. Children will pick up inappropriate and ambiguous behaviour when they have been set the wrong examples. The parents might not want that to happen but that is the only outcome where there is no other model to copy.

So, yes, it is possible to be TOO guilt free.  Remember that you are a model for your children, and being too lax is just as detrimental to their growth as being too strict.  Let them grow by feeding them the good stuff in the right portions.

Can we Manifest Guilt?

Does thinking guilty feelings manifest more in the future?

The Law of Attraction exists to deliver to us the things on which we focus.  Visualization can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you use it.  As masters like Abraham advise us that the Law is here to provide for us anything we need to fulfill our life’s goals of experiencing God’s magnificence and the gift of free will, the Law makes no judgment of good–or bad–in what we request.

So if you are consistently focusing on, let’s say, your sickness, and ignoring the rest of your body which is in total health, then you will bring about more sickness until it becomes your complete reality, taking over the healthy areas of your body.  Alternatively, if you focused on the healthy parts of your body, showing gratitude for that health despite the small area of you which is resisting it, then the Law will deliver more health–eventually healing whichever ailment you may have.  The Law doesn’t care if it is delivering you what you consider to be GOOD or BAD–it only delivers to you what you ask for.  And whether you are focusing on your sickness–or your health–you are asking for more of the same.

So why would anyone ever focus on the negative?

Look around you and ask yourself if you know many people, if any, who don’t.

We all know those people who love to talk about their most recent ailment, whether it be a perpetually bad knee or the constant migraines, or that their husband is a fat slob, or that they just can’t seem to lose weight.  They relish in the audience they receive, despite the fact that no one they speak to really wants to hear about it.

And guilt is about as negative as it gets.

Guilt is something no one wants.  Aside from your passive-aggressive grandmother who layers it on like cream cheese icing if you don’t visit often enough, there is no room for guilt in anyone’s lives.  So why do we feel so much of it?

We feel guilt because we think we should have done something differently from what we actually did.  And the Law says that our actions are based on focused thoughts and their resultant feelings.  So my deduction here is that we did something that we KNEW we shouldn’t have done, and now we feel bad about doing it.

We were focusing on the negative.  We did what we knew we shouldn’t have done.  And now we feel guilt.

So next time you feel guilty, look backward (but only briefly!) to your thoughts and feelings about what you were thinking when you didn’t do what you knew you should have done.  Note these feelings, and then move on.    If you continue to focus on your guilt, then the Law will bring you more of what it thinks you want.

And don’t forget to visit your grandmother once in a while.

Living a Guilt Free Chaotic Life

Chaos as a Way of Life

Do you ever come home from work and experience this in your first ten minutes through the door:  you are attacked by the dogs, face a whining family who can’t find anything to eat despite a kitchen full of food, skid across socks on the floor, deal with piled-up mail, answer the ringing phone and encounter still-unmade beds?

I deal with this every day.  After overtime on the job, I drive home in the solitude of my car (sometimes I don’t want to get out!) only to arrive home to what should be my sanctuary, but is rather a screaming zoo of chaos.  I can barely take a breath before something else is requiring my attention, and there I stumble, one shoe still on my foot, to put out another virtual fire between demanding loved ones.

So last week, I decided to take a weekend away from all of this, and go with a friend to Las Vegas.  I had my own room, with a big fluffy bed covered in pillows, room service and curtains that blocked out the light so I could sleep late.  Three whole days to myself with no one making demands of me!

Solitude isn’t what I expected it to be

Silence. Peace. Opportunity to go within. Freedom.
Boredom!

I was lost there, with the endless shopping and sightseeing and visual treats available to me. There were so many opportunities that none of them seemed appealing–because I had no one to share them with.

Missing the Chaos

I longed to return to the noise and the craziness, because that’s where my true interaction was. Not only was I missed at home, but they missed me; for they are an integral part of me, and I had left my most integral part of behind.

Enjoying your Routine

So next time you are faced with the temper tantrums, the spilled spaghetti and towels on the floor, remember that your presence plays a large part in the growth and community of others. Their–and your–needs are important, of course. A little quiet may–or may not!–refresh you.

Learning Not to be Offended by Others’ Habits

The increasing popularity of electronic cigarettes led me to read more about the safety benefits of using them vs traditional tobacco cigarettes.  In a statement last January, Dr. Jonathan Winickoff of Harvard Medical School called the Crown7 “a thousand times safer than cigarettes.”  You can see the article here: ‘Just like the real thing’: Businesses push ‘e-cigarettes’.  My topic here isn’t whether e-cigarettes are or are not safer than tobacco, but rather how people judge those who smoke at all.

Reading the comments left on the site after the article, the page was laden with forked-tongue remarks about how weak and pathetic smokers are.  These people have decided that if you smoke, you have decided to purposely disgrace humanity with your presence in the form of second-hand smoke and tar-stained hands.  You were created to offend others simply by your habit.  Where is the compassion for those who may be struggling with a habit that’s tougher to kick than heroin?

Again, my argument here is not whether second-hand smoke is dangerous (although several recent studies have claimed that the dangers are not as real as once thought), but rather why people must feel offended at the choices of another.  Of course, smokers–along with drinkers, and those who shove down three cheeseburgers at McDonalds, and those who crack their knuckles, and those who drink wine and get behind the wheel of their car, or those that slip out an expletive now and then, or those caught by surprise by public flatulence–should keep their habits to themselves.

How many of us does that leave, then, with no habits that may offend someone?

And why are people looking so hard to be offended?  Is it because they want to elevate their own self-worth by attempting to diminish another’s?  Are we projecting here?

Simply put, if one is content with oneself, then there is no need to be offended by another’s behaviour–ever.

What’s Your Daily Guilt Scale?

Are you perfect?  If so, you can stop reading now because you and I have nothing in common.

If you’re like the rest of us, then you probably go through your day feeling bouts of both goodness and guilt.  You may look in the mirror in the early morning, give yourself a wink of self-approval, and yet at lunch you catch a glimpse of yourself  in the bathroom mirror and you feel like an inner tube in a blouse.  Goodness can be replaced with guilt in a matter of minutes based on the decisions we make.  If you are like me,  then you may decide to skip the gym because you almost fell asleep while driving home.  Or perhaps you are staring at an empty bottle of wine when you planned on having only one glass.  Or a cigarette came out of nowhere and lit itself up in front of you.

When such things happen to me, the guilt takes over and I could spiral down quickly into misery–because instead of following the straight and narrow of a freak of nature that traipses the path laid out by perfect vegan yogis, nuns and healthy triathlete doctors and have no history of risky behavior, there’s me.  I admit–even to myself–that I 0ccasionally stumble off the path, trampling the posies and stepping on  fuzzy bunnies in my failure to follow the directions of those who want me to live to be 117 so that I can buy their products.

And although I am a proponent of a guilt-free life, I experience a sense of guilt every day; yet I have remodeled my guilty inclinations into a useful scale to moderate my behavior.  My scale is represented by numbers from 1 through 10, with 1 being the absolutely most guilt-ridden and miserable a person could be, and 10 being the happiest bliss-infused rainbow-riding earth spirit that lights up the room she enters.

Now I start my morning with a rating of 10 if I’ve gotten enough sleep and I remember my wrinkle lotion.
If I eat relatively healthy food and avoid inhaling an entire pizza, my Guilt Scale stays on the high side, although other factors such as being rude to a colleague, not carrying my load at work, or flipping someone off in traffic can drag the scale down as the  day goes by. If I go to the gym rather than crapping out, the scale remains steady, because by doing so, I have contributed to my own health and happiness by my own doing.  No one forces me to go, and if I decide one day that I just don’t feel like exercising, and mentally I am OK with that, then it’s not necessary for me to reduce the guilt scale.

The whole premise behind the Guilt Scale is that we are in charge of our own lives.  We make decisions about how to treat ourselves and others, and we can use the Guilt Scale to self-assess our behavior and how we feel about who we are right now.  If we progress through our day and loosely rate the feelings and emotions related to our actions, we can reflect on whether or not we are living according to our values.  And if we live according to our values, then we show integrity.

Please let me know if this is helpful to you.

The Displacement of a Spider

This morning, while moving boxes in my garage, my son shrieked when I displaced an enormous black widow spider from her lair. I am not in the habit of killing any bug, no matter how dangerous it may be. Rather, I will capture it for a few hours, observe its habits, and then let it go. So into a Mason jar went the spider, and she resided for the day on my son’s desk next to the computer monitor. As night fell, we made a trip a mile away, and left the spider in a privet bush so that she could continue on with her life.

Back in 2005 I lost my home, my business and all my belongings in Hurricane Katrina. In a 12-hour period my entire life was transformed from a comfortable home-owning artist and entrepreneur into a homeless single mother with a confused child and three days worth of clothes in a suitcase. There are few words that can really describe the feeling of sudden hopelessness and desperation I felt in those few days after the storm.

What happened afterward was nothing short of a miracle. After sifting through what the looters left, inhaling mold and dodging rotting beams, my mind cleared and I went into survival mode. I made calls, researched my options, and made plans to put my life together again. I took donations where I used to be the one giving them (including 9 boxes sent from Microsoft–thank you!!), checked in on fellow friends in the area, and wrote down goals. I was displaced, but I was not lost.

Now the spider and I, we have a lot in common. We were both taken from our comfortable surroundings by something beyond our control, and we both ended up somewhere we never thought we’d never be. I can only hope that she rebuilds her life as well as I did, and that she enjoys her new surroundings.

Guilt-Free Secret Keeping

As we age, one of the things we (hopefully) learn is how to keep a secret. When a friend confides in you, they are demonstrating their trust in you. Yet we love to show others how much we know, whether to gain status, recognition or prestige. In my twenties, this was the thing to do–to pass on my knowledge of another’s secret situation to show that I could be trusted. What lunacy!

Now that I have passed 40, I have learned to keep my mouth shut because NOT saying anything gets me much further in life with those I really care about. Case in point:

Once, in one of my early retail jobs, a friend confided in me that he would be leaving the company. Juicy information, no doubt, since management had no idea of his impending resignation. But I wanted his hours, which were more desirable than mine. So I went right to the supervisor to ask if I could change my hours to his “if” he left. Oh, I thought I was smooth, planting that seed. But my supervisor detected my excitement, and put two and two together. Needless to say, it ended badly, because my colleague was led out the next day with no notice due to “security reasons,” and not only did I lose a friend in him, my supervisor considered me a tattletale and my hours stayed the same.

Well maybe it took me twenty years of like situations to get it through my thick skull that the value keeping a secret extends beyond a simple trust issue; and the Universe decided to test my strength on this factor once more. Fast forward to this year, when a friend let me know she was leaving her job to start her own business. Oooh, here’s the rush again, for I knew something that will impact not only my team but the possibly the entire company that employed her. But this time, I sat back and measured the consequences. Who would benefit from my keeping my mouth shut this time? Well, obviously she would, since she could continue making her business plans while still employed there; I would, since I can show that I am trustworthy. Who would suffer? The company might, as it finds itself understaffed for a time until she could be replaced.

I asked myself: who is more important to me?

Well, in the grand scheme of things, friendship trumps a job anytime. Even in this depressed economy, I wouldn’t be sitting on my deathbed worrying about whether my boss thought I was a good employee. I would be concerned that my friends considered me a reliable, loving companion. So another lesson learned, and one step closer to guilt-free secret keeping.




The Recession May Be Over but the Guilt Lives On

Experts say that the recession is over.  What great news that is for those of us who may be a little tired of the black cloud of depression looming over us, but despite this wonderful revelation, the thunder is still rumbling.  This article in Newsweek touts that “The Recession Is Over!  But Not for You!”

Why not for me?  Can’t I be happy too?

And plopped right in the center of the article is a photo montage of the greediest people that are to blame for all of this mess.  The article continues to keep us beaten down and cringing:  “Having survived a near-death economic experience, Americans now need to focus on surviving what’s likely to be a pokey, painful recovery.”

Talk about a dose of guilt for those who actually don’t live every day just to survive!  Now I’m not knocking those that are down on their luck, but I am emphasizing here that we can decide which rain goggles we choose to look through.  Do yours show sun in the near distance, or just more rain?

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