So why, one day last week, did I happen to see something across the street–in a direction that I face n the same route day in and day out–that I think I have never seen before? And why did it change my view of life?

Let me explain why this is so profound.  It wasn’t a gaggle of geese, or a broken down Ford, or a blinking road construction sign.

This was an enormous white structure, ninety feet high, spanning 30 acres; a crosshatching of strong white bars that resembled a skeleton from a Tim Burton movie.  No doubt it was some sort of electric plant, but what it was really doesn’t matter.  It’s the fact that I’d never noticed it before.  Perhaps they had been putting it up slowly, I thought, and the structure finally broke the horizon?  Well, after a closer look, the joints were rusting and there was a good layer of aged brown dirt on the thing, so I ruled that out.

That disturbed me.  How could I have missed such a looming structure that was clearly in plain view to me every day for a significant amount of time?

It boils down to this:  I had never focused on it before. And just like a library book whose spine jumps out at you as you walk past it in the library, this structure stood out for me on that particular day because I decided to focus upon it.

I equate this occurrence to many I’ve experienced in other areas of my life:

Facing a challenge with an attitude different from the one I had last time I was presented with that same challenge.
Noticing the beautiful blue eyes in a coworker that I’ve known for years but never bothered to study before.
The markings on my cat’s back that suddenly form the shape of a heart.
The white flowers on a cactus that probably blooms quite the same way every spring.

So if you see something unusual in a usual situation, take the time to view it differently, and notice how your vision expands.  It might just change your view of the whole world as you used to see it.

Beautiful.

People say that the Mayan calendar says the world will end in 2012. The Popol Vuh, an ancient book of Mayan history, describes the first three creations that the gods failed in making and the creation of the successful fourth world where men were placed.  We are living in the fourth world, in the 13th era of existence.

“Maya inscriptions occasionally reference future predicted events or commemorations that would occur on dates that lie beyond 2012 (that is, beyond the completion of the 13th b’ak’tun of the current era). In fact, there are predictions of events that occur in the 80th era, which equates to 21 October in the year 4772.

“Despite the publicity generated by the 2012 date, Susan Milbrath, curator of Latin American Art and Archaeology at the Florida Museum of Natural History, stated that ‘We have no record or knowledge that [the Maya] would think the world would come to an end’ in 2012. ‘For the ancient Maya, it was a huge celebration to make it to the end of a whole cycle,’ says Sandra Noble, executive director of the Foundation for the Advancement of Mesoamerican Studies in Crystal River, Florida. To render December 21, 2012, as a doomsday event or moment of cosmic shifting, she says, is ‘a complete fabrication and a chance for a lot of people to cash in.’”

via Mesoamerican Long Count calendar – Wikipedia.

So why the fear? I’m not sure it is as base as wanting to cash in, but I certainly do believe that most apocalyptic beliefs in the United States are misdirected interpretations of one religious scripture or another.  After all, we are sinners (if you don’t know me, then please note that this is sarcasm), and we all deserve to be punished.  Shame on us for believing that we share the same attributes as God.  For such impure thoughts, they say, God will rain down fire and fury on our world, and burn us up like forgotten toast.  On December 20, 2012, to be exact, as if he’s penciled it in his cosmic appointment book.

Oh please.  People!  We are God’s children, and he would no more incinerate us (or flood us, or freeze us) than you would to your own children.  Children share blood with their parents, and parents are, generally-speaking, good protectors of their children.  Parents want to see their children learn, explore and make mistakes in order to become decent human beings, who have children of their own.

If you are worried about the end of the world, then you must be focusing your attention outward at all the horrific things that other people are doing.  Are you judging?  Are you fearful for those people that are tearing your world down because you feel that their actions will rain fire on your parade?  Well then go out and touch one of them.  Go to a prison and visit.  Work at a food bank.  Help abused animals.  Do something about what’s going wrong in our world.

This is what God wants.

Is There a Guilt Free Way to Lose Weight?

Today I decided to document my curiosity. With all the hype about the HcG diet craze, my undying need for new experiences forces me to find out more. Anyone who knows me is aware of my anal research habits, which could include a dozen hours poring through white papers, documents and Web sites, before I make a decision to buy something. And even with all the research, sometimes the product or service turns out to be a scam anyway. I know a dozen people who have lost significant amounts of weight using HcG, and this with both the injections (ack) and the sub-lingual drops.

And since my aim is to live guilt-free, what better subject to study than one that causes more guilt than any other–dieting. So over the next 23 days I will document my findings here–both guilt-related, physical and mental–so that others can make a well-informed decision as to whether this miracle diet is worthy of their time or not.  And no, that’s not me in the picture here.

My necessary disclaimers and full disclosure: I work in the Internet industry and I am not an affiliate or related to anyone selling this stuff. I bought my liquid HcG drops based on a friend’s recommendation at YourHcg.com.  They were very revenue-oriented and terrible conversationalists, but gave me a 20% discount on a 15-day supply (I later learned that I will have to buy another bottle to finish the program, so don’t make that mistake!);  the bottle arrived 3 days later as promised.

I am not a doctor, and I did not consult one professionally regarding this stuff.  I did speak to a doctor who has prescribed the injections but knew nothing of the drops since he is not a naturopath and doesn’t claim to know anything about that area of the medical field.

I understand that weight is lost based on calories in vs calories out, and that the source of those calories has an effect on hormonal balance and thus weight loss. I exercise five times a week;  I use a combination of strength training, Pilates, and cardio.  I also ride my horse about three times a week.

My eating habits are already better than 95% of Americans.  I eat fish and chicken, and limit pork and red meat to once a month.  I limit my sugar but don’t avoid it completely.  I eat low-fat or fat-free cheese, eggs and their whites, and eat only whole grain breads.  I limit my pasta intake because I eat too much of it when it’s in front of me.  If I could live on cheese and sour cream for the rest of my life, I would. (I know that there are many of you out there.)  I eat five times a day, which feels more like grazing.

Prior to this experiment, I weighed 143.4 lbs.  According to my trainer, I should weigh 125 lbs, which would put me at a BMI of 20, which is nearly at the bottom of the healthy range for my height of 5’7″.  According to my doctor, I should weigh 140 lbs, which would put me at a BMI of 22.  My BMI is currently 23, which is still within the range of healthy.  Based on these recommendations, I am aiming for a weight of 133 lbs with a  BMI of 21, which is smack in the middle of the healthy zone. This amounts to just over 10 lbs of weight loss.

Today is my first day of taking drops.  I was instructed to administer 6 drops under the tongue, 6 times a day.  On the first two days, I am instructed to eat as many high-fat foods as possible in order to prepare myself for the severe cutback of calories on the third day.  I can understand this principle, yet since I don’t eat like that normally, I am kinda grossed out.  I have had 2 Dunkin Donuts and a sausage and egg sandwich, which normally would be my entire day’s worth of calories.

I am on my sixth glass of water at 10:30am because of all the salt I just ate.

My stomach feels like I swallowed wet cement and it’s hardening inside right now.

Yesterday, my son called me a bitch.

Now, other people have done that in my younger years, but back then I had earned that label.  Nowadays, however, I think I may be on the lenient side of things, and let a lot of inappropriate actions and words by others just roll off my back.

Well, folks, that doesn’t work with kids, apparently.  Because they are watching you, and modeling you, and their behavior is learned from yours in a really big way.

I guess it started when I was working nights, and as I lay comatose in bed after being on my feet all night, my little tyke would crawl out of bed and switch on a DVD.  One morning, he tapped my shoulder as I slept, and said, “MOM!  The Matrix is everywhere.”  I should have taken this as a sign that perhaps I should be more careful about what he had access to, and to be fair to myself, there was no porn or other REALLY inappropriate materials in the house.

And after all, they are going to learn it soon, anyway, right?  Right.  They are going to learn it.  And they are going to look to you for your judgment on that material.  If you glaze right over the violence and the trench coat-wearing virtual mercenaries, then your kids are going to think that these types of movies are the norm, when indeed they should not be–at least for kids.

So being called a bitch was simply a symptom of the bigger problem–that I was too lax in my household, and that my quest to bring up an individual rather than a little carbon copy of myself went too far to the other extreme.  And I created an individual to which nothing was sacred.

According to Elaine Sihera on the Helium.com blog:

Children in homes where the parents do not treat each other with any respect, and where language is abusive, critical or inappropriate, tend to use those examples as their guidelines and behave accordingly. Parents teach their children not only through what they say, but most importantly, through what they DO. Children will pick up inappropriate and ambiguous behaviour when they have been set the wrong examples. The parents might not want that to happen but that is the only outcome where there is no other model to copy.

So, yes, it is possible to be TOO guilt free.  Remember that you are a model for your children, and being too lax is just as detrimental to their growth as being too strict.  Let them grow by feeding them the good stuff in the right portions.

Why Do We Crave to Know More About Others’ Misfortunes?

The other day I was enduring the endless wait in solitary confinement at an Urgent Care Facility. Despite the nurse saying that the Doctor would be “right in,” I had been eyeing that shiny red Biohazard bucket since she’d shut the door on her way out. The bucket with its triangular arrow-shaped sign was the brightest thing in the room.  It could be empty, or it could be full. Maybe it contained body parts that had been chopped off by shrub trimmers, or foreskin, or crusted over scabs from a dog bite…or maybe it just contained soiled Q-Tips and bloody bandages from a fall on the cement. Either way, it was the fact that someone’s misfortune had contributed to its contents that consumed me.

This is the reason that drivel like reality shows, and soap operas and Jerry Springer can consistently bring in the bucks and the audience. Because people want to see others suffering more than they are. If Ashley slept with her mother’s boyfriend, and a mother-daughter catfight ensues, then for those few moments between commercials we can forget that we have problems of our own. And reveling in someone else’s problems, with its disconnection from our own reality, provides us with an escape if just for a few minutes.

I held back from peeking into the Biohazard bin, because someday, something of mine could be in there. And I would want dignity and respect to prevail over the torrid curiosity of others who would revel in my misfortune.

Do You Feel Disconnected from the World?

Last week a series of horrible and vulgar events sent me spiraling downwards into a pool of pity. In my eyes the world was against me and despite all my knowledge of the powers of manifestation, I couldn’t change my negative mood into a positive one. I locked myself away from the rest of the world and stewed.

I tried counting my blessings, and there were dozens, thankfully, but this time that didn’t seem to help. I planted flowers (they died), baked muffins, and got a new haircut. Still…I was in the pits, disconnected from the rest of the world.

And then I remembered what Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

How long was I going to keep up this habit of thinking negative thoughts? The constant repetition would create…you got it…a habit. So once I realized that this negative habit didn’t fit into my master plan, the decision to lose the negativity–to delve back into humanity–and to show my excellence again was an easy transition for me. After all, that is my (and your) natural state.

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Make affirmations an everyday part of your day by creating passwords out of them

We all know that thinking and focusing on positive thoughts allows us to manifest our destiny. And affirmations are a great way to remind ourselves of our goals, aspirations and desires throughout the day. But, really, how much can one mind remember to do?

If you are a voracious self-help reader as I am, no doubt the book you’re reading asks you to take 15 minutes a day here, and 20 minutes a day there, to perform some mental exercise that will help originate change. Fantastic! Is that 15 minutes BEFORE I get up at 4:00am to go to the gym, or AFTER the 20 minutes I have set aside for meditation? Is it BEFORE the kids start screaming for dinner, or AFTER I have spent my half hour rewriting my 1, 3 and 5-year goals in my journal?

So if you’re a computer user, here’s a sure-fire way to be sure you repeat your affirmations to yourself multiple times throughout the day without blocking out any time in your schedule: make them into passwords.

Example:
Here’s an affirmation I used when I was losing weight:

“It take less food nowadays to fill me up.”

How can I make that into a password? Take the first character of each word, switch around some keys that make sense, and add some capitals.

So the affirmation “It take less food nowadays to fill me up” can be made into this:
ItlFn2fmu

It’s even better if you can add special characters to the mix. Here’s another affirmation I could use:
“I am manifesting everything I desire at lightning speed”
…Into this:
IamMeId@Ls

Switch it around by adding a whole word (like “am” in the above example), and the affirmation will be even easier to remember. Strong passwords contain a combination of upper-case, lower-case letters and numbers, and extra characters wherever possible. No dog names, here, or birthdays, or the word “Password” (yes, lots of people do).

Choosing an affirmation as a password not only keeps you and your goals on track, but it also helps keep your information extra secure.

The Law of Attraction exists to deliver to us the things on which we focus.  Visualization can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you use it.  As masters like Abraham advise us that the Law is here to provide for us anything we need to fulfill our life’s goals of experiencing God’s magnificence and the gift of free will, the Law makes no judgment of good–or bad–in what we request.

So if you are consistently focusing on, let’s say, your sickness, and ignoring the rest of your body which is in total health, then you will bring about more sickness until it becomes your complete reality, taking over the healthy areas of your body.  Alternatively, if you focused on the healthy parts of your body, showing gratitude for that health despite the small area of you which is resisting it, then the Law will deliver more health–eventually healing whichever ailment you may have.  The Law doesn’t care if it is delivering you what you consider to be GOOD or BAD–it only delivers to you what you ask for.  And whether you are focusing on your sickness–or your health–you are asking for more of the same.

So why would anyone ever focus on the negative?

Look around you and ask yourself if you know many people, if any, who don’t.

We all know those people who love to talk about their most recent ailment, whether it be a perpetually bad knee or the constant migraines, or that their husband is a fat slob, or that they just can’t seem to lose weight.  They relish in the audience they receive, despite the fact that no one they speak to really wants to hear about it.

And guilt is about as negative as it gets.

Guilt is something no one wants.  Aside from your passive-aggressive grandmother who layers it on like cream cheese icing if you don’t visit often enough, there is no room for guilt in anyone’s lives.  So why do we feel so much of it?

We feel guilt because we think we should have done something differently from what we actually did.  And the Law says that our actions are based on focused thoughts and their resultant feelings.  So my deduction here is that we did something that we KNEW we shouldn’t have done, and now we feel bad about doing it.

We were focusing on the negative.  We did what we knew we shouldn’t have done.  And now we feel guilt.

So next time you feel guilty, look backward (but only briefly!) to your thoughts and feelings about what you were thinking when you didn’t do what you knew you should have done.  Note these feelings, and then move on.    If you continue to focus on your guilt, then the Law will bring you more of what it thinks you want.

And don’t forget to visit your grandmother once in a while.

Your Children are Watching You

There’s something about learning by doing. After the January 12 earthquake in Haiti I learned more about my son than I had known about him in the first 12 years of his life. As he watched the people crying on CNN, being dug out of the rubble, bloody and homeless with no food or water, I saw my son’s eyes well up. He turned to me and he said, “We really need to help them! Look at those children; they have nothing to do.”  The thoughts of a child, concerned about the welfare of other children, because he had been in their place at one time.

And so with that, he conjured up the idea of sending yoyos down to the children so they had something to play with while Haiti was being rebuilt. We set about creating a website, yoyosforhaiti.com, and he wrote letters to all of the major yoyo manufacturers, who applauded him for his kindness and thoughtfulness towards the Haitian children. All but one contributed, as well as many individuals, and some went way out of their way to ensure that he met his goal of 500. It took a little while and some diligence on his part, but he followed through and he reached his goal. We took pictures along the way; we sent the press releases to CNN and the local news came to interview him. They asked him where his idea had originated, and his answer surprised even me. He said, “I know what it feels like to lose it all. I was homeless and I lost everything–even my cat–in Hurricane Katrina, and so I can understand how these children feel and I want them to feel better.”  My eyes welled up, as did those of the cameraman and the anchorwoman. For I thought that he had been too young during the Hurricane to equate it with a more adult-oriented sense of loss.

Here was true human compassion albeit in a small package; but it shows that kindness is still prevalent in our world and it gives me hope.  This is how we should want our children to grow up.  I was proud see my son display such love and empathy towards children he will never meet. I wanted to avoid taking any credit for myself. Yet when I look back at the little things that I’ve enjoyed giving to other people: those I don’t know; animals; children; the homeless–I  realized that he had been watching from the sidelines all along.  I was setting an example without even trying. And my mother had done the same thing before my own childish eyes, always giving as much she could despite having very little. She always had a smile for everyone she met, as do I to this day.

And so we pass the tendency for compassion down from generation to generation. We should be planning these lessons if they don’t come naturally to us, and we must ensure that those little acts of kindness are seen by our children and those around us. And when you see your child perform an act of kindness, make sure that praise and show appreciation. Because with the ripple effect, anybody who sees such acts is positively affected by them–whether they be a smile, a cold drink or a yoyo–and each observer will positively affect another in some small way.

I felt sick inside when I read about the upcoming Supreme Court case of a radical church’s right of free speech to protest a fallen soldier’s funeral. According to this article, the Westboro Baptist Church picketed Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder’s 2006 funeral in Westminster, Md., because it believes troops’ deaths are God’s revenge for the United States’ tolerance of gays.

Let’s get real here. This is not about free speech. This is a case of judgment.

First, we know that Baptists refuse to interpret the Bible any other way than literally.  That means that whichever old man wrote whichever book they are reading, and whichever translator translated it into English, was doing so with the exact syntax intended by our Lord above.  Nothing lost in translation here, could there be, folks?  I may be pissing off 35 million people out there for what I am saying, but I really don’t care, because I am a sinner in your eyes anyway.

Christianity is about giving, loving, and lack of judgment.  That part of the Bible, if you read it literally, is pretty darn clear.

So how could these monsters, who call themselves faithful to God, speak out about their fellow man in such a judgmental manner when they can visibly see people suffering at the loss of a loved one?  Can they really be so offended and threatened by something that doesn’t match their (myopic) beliefs that they must lash out in anger?  That they must put  “GodHatesFags.com” on a T-shirt and make an 11-year old girl parade around in it?

For these children will be making laws someday, will be lynching people on trees in the forest, will be scorning society’s advances because of an ancient book that was written by dozens of people, and translated dozens of times throughout the years.  That, to me, is scary.  That, to me, is tearing down what the modern world is attempting to do in its shift toward spiritualism. Read the book, folks, and understand that it was meant for guidance, and it does not give us judgment rights against our brothers.

It’s fear that creates the feeling of offense.  It’s the inability to put oneself in another’s shoes, and judgment of a person’s outer shell rather than of his soul.  It’s the lack of certainty about who we really are that makes us offended, because if someone else believes differently from us, then we must protect our beliefs lest the ego begin to falter.  It’s sad, but we all do it sometime or another and it affects our life and all others we meet.

It takes great effort to see a soul in today’s times.  When so much focus is put on the outside, we make our shallow judgments based on external criteria rather than the more spiritual kind.  And because we must protect, at all costs, our tiny selves.

The Universe is full of so many choices–neither good nor bad–but merely those with different consequences.  Those that choose to judge others for the sake of preserving their antiquated notions about “what God wants” from us will experience a very different life than those of us that choose to see the soul and know that we are ALL God’s people.

I know which life I choose.  And I can pretty much bet that God doesn’t hate fags.  (There I go, sinning again).